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 Training [Private]

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Hyoung

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Number of posts : 56
Age : 25
Location : Cross Roads
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Registration date : 2008-10-13

PostSubject: Training [Private]   Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:56 pm

Tock Tock

A hollow sound echoed through the empty church yard. The gothic build building was run down and she could feel the vibes of death inside. Water dripped from somewhere near the fallen roof as she walked by. A light mist carefully coated the ground.

In the middle of the court was a statue of an angel. However one of the wings were fallen and its head gone as well. A hole was thrown through the other wing extended its injures. She stopped in front of the statue. Her pale hand carelessly running over the injured wing of the statue. Only then did blood hued wings of her own sprout. The wings were paired in three and chains were running down on them. It extended slowly. Hidden, clusters of symbols infected upon her arms.

She wore casual clothing. A simple large jacket that covered her arms with hood, black and white scarf, black pants, and equally black shoes completed her outfit. Beneath the jacket was a simple black shirt as well. Underneath the long sleeves of the jacket, the symbols slowly crawled on her arm at such a painful speed.

Her blood changed to fit the need of both the wings and the chains. She felt the mercury blood infecting her once more. A light chill ran down her spine. It felt… good. She in hailed the air around her. It was so tainted. She tasted iron on the tip of her tong. The mist scurried from her steps as she walked.

Tock Tock

The gate was rusted and created a loud noise as she delicately put her hands against it and pushed it. She was pale against the dark rusted iron and her hair black hair was darker in shade then the iron. Her figure was slim and acute, her face features fair and sharply defined. Her eyes were peculiar.

Squeeeeeee~

The door groaned. Nonetheless it opened. Her footstep splashed the puddle cruelly as she walked inside. It was dark… So dark. Fallen bricks let in misty light as she looked at the surroundings. Her purple eyes and her gold tainted silver eyes wide in mad amusement. Strands of wire like innocence extended from her palms. It weaved back and forth among themselves and soon formed chains. A Kagome chain. Kagome was told to have repelled the demons in the past and trap them…

A fitting name. She thought. She had never known what they were. Nor the purpose of their existence other then to survive and to nurture itself. However she hated them anyway. The gray feeling that it gave out. It was torture some and depressing. The mixture of sadness and pain along with hatred and anger was annoying to her. It felt wrong to her and it bothered her.

A large egg like machine appeared in front of her from the side. It was riddled with cannons and disturbing to look at. Pathetic monsters… She thought. The thing fired bullets at her. The bullets around the size of half of her arm… She was spacing out too much to dodge one completely. It cut her left arm right below her shoulder. Blood seeped through the torn jacket. Virus being to spread. She felt it attempting to tear her apart, then a chill as her innocence repelled it. Destroyed it.

Incredibly loud noise shocked through the building as she dodged more and more bullets in the air. She soon closed up the distance between the machine. As soon as she was within what she estimated was four yards, she let the chains go. It curled up around the monster. Then as if egg wrapped in strings that was pulled, it became in pieces. The chains had cut through the monster. Almost instantly, each pieces that was cut off were caught on fire. She looked at it with annoyance. It had ruined her jacket.

The shock through the already devastated building brought out two more of the same egg shaped hideous monsters. She landed on the cross on the end of the main church area opposite of the gates. The cross was tilted and was wrought iron. Broken stained glass shadowed her. Her long extending black hair was casually thrown from the flight of her wings.

Both fired at her simultaneously. The bullets riddling both the cross and the stained glass. Another loud noise shook throughout the area. The dust arose and the smell of blood freshened up. Smell of old blood. None were new. It rose and covered the area.

The blood hued wings allowed her speed. Even so, she had used her chains to maneuver herself just in case. It would seem that it would be of no need. She pulled up her scarf to rid the dust from entering into her body as she let a chain loose. It wrapped around the closest monster. However it struggled to be loose, causing the chains to cut In deeper. Fool it was. Struggling to survive without hope. She carefully caressed the thought carefully as it pulled her slightly from the spot. Only then did she hear. The several shots heading her way.

She quickly used her other chain to wrap around an object and jerked herself away from the path. In the same motion, pulling the wire and killing the other monster. Another set of dust arose. Now thoroughly annoyed, she quickly wrapped the chain around the other and killed it. The dust was unsettled still and she sat on the iron fence of the balcony inside of the church. Pulling out a piece of cloth from her pocket, she nursed her injured cut. She was more worried about the infections from the dust.

Sharp scents of mixed iron and rust gathered up near her as if ghosts. She half heartedly shooed them away. She could still feel it. Several others still lingering somewhere else. It made her sick. The very scent of those monsters made her sick. Made her want to kill them. Or was it the innocence?

Another of the monster would appear soon. They were easy to kill as long as they weren’t in mobs. They couldn’t think and only acted upon their instincts to survive, they were slow and made large targets. She would rest until the dust has settled and set to hunt for more. It was sickening to have them existing. Her wound stopped bleeding as she sat still. Perched on the wrought iron with her blood hued wings folded. Her shadow was of an angel’s.
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Untainted666

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Number of posts : 343
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PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:36 pm

28 marks

I deducted (or nullified) marks for speling/vocab/phrasing errors. Which is kinda strict for me.

One mor ething to note, I think there are one too many short sentences. Although this may be your writing style,
sometimes, its good, other times its just repetitive.

Otherwise, I like the angel idea, the haunted church fits nicely, and portrayal of emotions was there. Plus, it was
a good battle. Keep up the good work!

P.S. i love the angels and blood I love you
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Tag

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Number of posts : 184
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PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:05 pm

I'm giving her 30 because I like rounding up.

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Character: Cassiel Mattei || Innocence: Dominion
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Untainted666

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Number of posts : 343
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Registration date : 2008-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:18 pm

Then we'll leave her at the average of 29

*breaks fourth wall and throws an explosive cupcake at Tag*
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Tag

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PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:02 pm

Psh, cupcakes don't explode. *eats cupcake and skips away*

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Character: Cassiel Mattei || Innocence: Dominion
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Untainted666

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Number of posts : 343
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Registration date : 2008-08-22

PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:21 am

mine does. Evidently you haven't seen my cooking yet.

*blows tag up from inside.*
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Hyoung

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Number of posts : 56
Age : 25
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Registration date : 2008-10-13

PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:08 pm

[ooc: Okay, no fighting in my training post. And exploding pastries and sweets do exist. ;] *throws exploding parfait at whoever decides to give points on this training post*.]

She closed her eyes for few moments. The dust smelled disturbing. The mixture of iron and death made her feel ill. A light ray of sunlight entered through the broken stained glass window. The tilted cross made a curious silhouette.

The death of tranquility in the church was soon disturbed. She could almost hear the stirring in the dust. How loud these things were, how disturbing they were. She had to struggle to keep food inside of her stomach as she felt the thing. She lashed out with her wire, the dust worked to her advantage. They should’ve known that It was wiser to wait until the dust settled when against smaller enemies then them. However they worked only with instinct and that annoyed her. These creatures were not supposed to have been existed unless the creator had allowed it so.

She spoke a very colorful word as she realized that there were few more after the first one she had destroyed. With her wings still folded, she jumped down from the balcony she was perched upon. She plunged to the ground, safe from the fires of the bullets from the above. Her wings spread wide only mere few feet from the ground, creating a parachute like to allow her to land softly. She then had to run and jump into a quick flight as another shower of bullets rained. As she did, she tightened her scarf against her mouth in an attempt to keep her from breathing in that poison of dust.

She moved constantly in order to keep her from being an easy target. It was only easy until there was a mob, she thought bitterly. Now and then, she lashed out with her innocence; however there was no time to wound them enough to kill them. She would simply blindly stab at them while she was dodging the rain of bullets and now and then it would meet its mark. After a while of frantic game of hit-the-randomly-moving-mark-that-randomly-lashed-out-an-attack-that-hit-them-now-and-then, they finally slowed and she had her chance.

With quick motions and willing of her wings, she went between the two closest monsters. Her innocence was like a pair of liquid blade as it tore apart the creatures. The motion caused the other to send another rain of bullets. She cussed loudly at them as she was forced to use her innocence to drag her from the very place in the air she once was in. She accidentally broke a piece of a support and caused the left part of the balcony to cave. Even more dusts rose and blinded her.

Her eyes were useless in the area and she could only see a spot of light from the broken glass. Even that itself was faint. Memorizing the distance and remembering how wide it was, she closed her eyes. Her eyes would be of no use and this dust may even blind her. The church was too small of a space for her and she needed to see. She used her innocence wires to wrap around the cross and the frame of the glass. She then repelled herself out of the sickening dust filled area. She welcomed the fresh air that wasn’t ridden with poison and blood.

However this made her even more of a target. No, it caused even more attraction. It was all she could do to dodge the bullets and lash out her innocence to destroy a bullet before it reached her. She was getting tired of this game with her being a target. She folded her wings in the air, causing her body to drop. This sudden movement caused readjustments from the creatures. With her wings unfolded once more, she destroyed as many as possible. She no longer took care of even wrapping them around. She simply lashed at it to slice them in half one way or another.

It was fanatic dance in the air, the angels destroying and killing the pitiful things that couldn’t even scream. A hellish dance. Her red wings were sped to its limits and she felt the physical struggle of her arms. Yet there were more and more. She lost count now, busy dodging the bullets.

Even in this frantic dance of hell, she couldn’t repel the feeling of sickness in her stomach. They felt so wrong, so disturbing! They didn’t deserve to exist and they didn’t deserve to even harm others. They had no rights of anything and they were mere puppets. She then laughed; it almost felt as if she was killing herself.

Her sanity seemed to have broken as she fell into steps much more frantic then from before. Everything was closely called as she dodged countless times. Her eyes were in glistening maddening amusement. She continuously lashed out at them regardless. In this frantic motion, most were missed.

She perched upon the top tower. Her hair was hanging loose and swaying wildly in the wind. Her breathing was rough from the insane dance. With her blood red wings spread and with her arm torn and blood stains, she could’ve passed as a fallen angel. There were about seven left. How many had she killed? The ones left over surrounded her, aiming at the same target. She jumped into the air the moment before they fired and the kagome chains pierced two through the center. It caused small explosions.

The smoke caused her cover as she wrapped around one and sliced it. Then she moved on to destroy another one as her cover existed. When the wind blew and her cover was gone, she saw only three left now. She breathed out a relaxed sigh as she saw the reduced number. It soon turned into cuss as she dodged the bullets once more. These things were annoyingly idiotic!

While she was in flight, she wrapped her chains around a single monster and she spun with the axis. Other monsters fired at it without heisting. Her chains severed it before the bullets hit. An instinct from her innocence, it would seem, probably to lessen its pain when it died. She was disgusted at it as she severed the other two rather easily now. She had cut them in three using her blades to wrap around them.

She now relaxed on the top tower. Her head was faced up to the sun with her eyes closed. How many minutes had it passed? The sun dried out the mist on the ground and the dust seemed to have settled inside. Her breathings were deep and slow as she struggled to fight the sickness inside of her. Her stomach revolted over and over from the gray emotions. There were more…

She was tired. She would rest for a while and this time she won’t draw a mob. How many had she killed exactly? She let out a luxurious sigh as her body stood immobile. She would rest, yes. Then she would jump into that frantic dance once more. She being to think of the moment she had just spent killing them all. What felt like a blur was no longer a blur. It was painfully clear now. Three in the beginning that had ambushed her, then… Her head revolted to the side as she lost all of her food. She wiped her mouth with a sleeve of her jacket and gagged as she breathed in the very air. So tainted with those… It made her want to revolt again. She would definitely throw herself into another dance. They shouldn’t be existing. They ruined this very atmosphere. They ruined this very world. She didn't love it, however it was a place where she had wanted. She didn't want them to destroy it.
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Tag

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PostSubject: Re: Training [Private]   Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:37 am

+32

Very lengthy, very descriptive. I like it. :3

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Character: Cassiel Mattei || Innocence: Dominion
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