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 Carnival Corpse(Daniela)

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Daniela

Daniela


Number of posts : 8
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-09-28

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyWed Oct 01, 2008 10:00 pm

Name:Carnival Corpse
Owner name: Daniela Gospel
Type:Equipment
Description:: Two-chromed pistols with black engravings along it. Alongside the barrel is inscripted "Clown Military Industires". The handle is brown and houses the Innocence in the form of a red crystal that resembles a grinning clown; the gem glows brightly everytime Daniela fires it.(It's design is inspired from AMT Hardballer.)
Appearance:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:AMT_HARDBALLER_.45ACP.JPG#file
Level 1 Invocation: Her pistols default form; they're able to condense the Innocence contained in the crystal and fire it in the form a high-pressurized energy. Each shot is blood-red and have an almost crystallic look about them. Tha damage they cause are extensive and are said to be more lethal than regular bullets.(The blast are similar to Cero blasts from Bleach). They're fully automatic and have no need for a reload.
Special Attack:Wonderland Fireworks:
Daniela fire out several shots of Innocence, taking on a completely hardened crystal form opposed to it's regular form, shaped like giant spears. They converge on the enemy and attempt to impale the enemy before they explode in a brilliant and deadly flash of blood-red, hence it's name "Wonderland Fireworks."

Level 2 Invocation: It takes the form of a long black rifle with a huge bayonet blade, almost as if someone took the blade from a broadsword and stuck it onto a rifle. It fires quick and straight shots, focused into a thin beam of energy. While it takes time to charge up between each shot, the blasts are powerful with great penetrating power and accuracy. This form is usually only used against long-range enemies, opponents with strong defense or when close-range combat is needed.
Special AttackRazor's Edge:
The energy that fuel each shot enevelope the bayonet, charging it with energy. The blade will glow a bright-red and extend out further, seemingly a blade of red energy. With this, each slash she makes causes a blade-shaped shockwave to emit from the bayonet; they move with deadly speed and have an extreme shaprness. Daniela slashes a number of times(around 15), sending 15 shockwaves careening at her opponent. She then ends the attack with a strong thurst which focuses the energy at a single point at the tip of the blade and fires it forward, helping it serve as both an close-range and short-range attack,

Level 3 Invocation: The pistols come together to form a large silver Desert Eagle with a cartoonish skull engraved under the barrel. A red crystal is still present on it's hande. It doesn't possess the rapid-fre capabilities of it's Level 1 form and for good reason; one shot from it is equivalent to 400 shots from it's regular form. The recoil is so great, that if fired in sucession for more than three times, every bone in her body would shatter. This also effects her accuracy, causing her amt to jerk up and mess up the trajectory of her shots. Thus she must always assume a steady stance or position before firing, something she may not have time to in the heat of battle.
Special Attack:Clown Spiral
A devastating attack, one that leaves Daniela's arm numb and useless for several hours. It fires off three huge blasts of energy that spiral toward the enemy in a drill-like fashion. They swarm around the area and attack enemies, drilling through them as they pass by almost as if they were sentient beings. Finally, the converge on one final target and collide into them, cauisng a huge explosion of energy that rips the target apart.


Last edited by Daniela on Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:48 pm; edited 8 times in total
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Untainted666

Untainted666


Number of posts : 343
Location : Christian Nightwish - Noah [37/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue80 / 10080 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-08-22

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 7:37 am

I would say your lvl 2 is too powered. change it to lvl 3, and make a less powerful lvl 2
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Daniela

Daniela


Number of posts : 8
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-09-28

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 8:47 am

Hehe, sorry bout that! Guess I got abit carried away.XP I'm finished(and did what you said of course) and it's ready for checking and (possible) approval.=3
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Untainted666

Untainted666


Number of posts : 343
Location : Christian Nightwish - Noah [37/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue80 / 10080 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-08-22

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 10:34 am

Your final attack for Lvl 3...you fired 4 shots, but didn't you say that 3 shots break your bones?

And your 2nd special attack, can you tell me more? I still don't have a clear picture.
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Daniela

Daniela


Number of posts : 8
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-09-28

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 10:57 am

Ah there edited! Thanks for taking the time to look over this for me and correct my amatuer mistakes, I hate when I rush writing stuff and miss simple stuff.XP
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Untainted666

Untainted666


Number of posts : 343
Location : Christian Nightwish - Noah [37/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue80 / 10080 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-08-22

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 11:22 am

It's good now. shld be approved~ Cool
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Haru

Haru


Number of posts : 435
Location : Tyki - Awakened Noah [0/1000] | Shirou - Exorcist [0/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-07-29

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 12:01 pm

Third too strong. Make it 4th, if not critical breaker.
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Untainted666

Untainted666


Number of posts : 343
Location : Christian Nightwish - Noah [37/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue80 / 10080 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-08-22

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 12:22 pm

eh? I tot 3rd=Critical Breaker?

edits: Oops, my bad. I forgot
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Tag

Tag


Number of posts : 184
Age : 34
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-16

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 2:12 pm

One shot being equivalent to 10,000 is pretty over-powered. That's really the only thing I see wrong with it. Lower the number. Also, if the recoil's so huge, she probably won't have as good an aim as before. You don't have to, but having her aim a little off would balance out the strong shots she can fire.

P.S. Level 4 is critical breaker.
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Daniela

Daniela


Number of posts : 8
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-09-28

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyThu Oct 02, 2008 8:48 pm

Naaa! Okay, edited again! Hopefully the last.XP
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Untainted666

Untainted666


Number of posts : 343
Location : Christian Nightwish - Noah [37/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue80 / 10080 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-08-22

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyFri Oct 03, 2008 5:02 am

It's fine. And if anyone says otherwise, take it up with me Surprised
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Haru

Haru


Number of posts : 435
Location : Tyki - Awakened Noah [0/1000] | Shirou - Exorcist [0/100]
Warning :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 1) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 2) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Level (Character 3) :
Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-07-29

Carnival Corpse(Daniela) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Carnival Corpse(Daniela)   Carnival Corpse(Daniela) EmptyFri Oct 03, 2008 7:23 am

Untainted666 wrote:
It's fine. And if anyone says otherwise, take it up with me Surprised

Read above but add my name to the quote. =D
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